There's no good way to explain what dark means underground.
My daughter has tried. She's eleven. She builds forts, pulls blankets over both of us, drags me into closets and kills the light and waits.
"Is it like this, Dad?"
"Pretty close, my love."
It's not close. Underground dark doesn't have shapes. Your eyes don't adjust. There is no adjust. One kilometer from the shaft, lights out, and the black is total. Absolute. The kind of dark that has weight.
She can't know that. She shouldn't have to.
"Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
A guy posted on Reddit not long ago. Underground miner. Said he'd tried counselling once and would never go back.
I read why.
First session. He's sitting across from a therapist — collar pressed, office clean — and the therapist asks him:
"Are you afraid of the dark?"
He's a man who has worked a kilometer underground. Who has eaten lunch in that dark. Who has driven equipment through that dark and trusted the guy beside him with his life in that dark.
And the first thing this guy asks him is whether he's afraid of it.
That's not a bad question. That's a betrayal. That's the moment a man who finally decided to try gets told, without a word being said, that the person across from him has no idea who he is.
He never went back.
I don't blame him.
The Numbers Behind the Silence
And in a separate study of FIFO and oilsands workers, three quarters had access to on-site health services. More than half said they wouldn't use them.
Not because they didn't know help existed.
Because they were afraid of getting laid off. Losing the respect of their crew. Being seen as the guy who couldn't handle it.
That's not weakness. That's a rational calculation made by men operating in environments where perception is safety. Where the guy who looks shaky doesn't get trusted with the equipment. Where you hold it together because other people's lives depend on it.
The problem isn't that these men won't ask for help.
The problem is that when they finally do — when they sit down across from someone and decide, against every instinct, to say something real — they get asked if they're afraid of the dark.
Fit Matters More Than Credentials
A client told me he spent two years reading therapist profiles. Over a hundred of them. Never called one.
He called me.
I asked him why.
"You sounded like you'd actually been somewhere."
I have. Underground hard rock mining. Oil and gas. Roughneck. Floorhand. Shifter Boss. Then a Master's degree in counselling psychology at forty — because the men I worked beside deserved something better than what that Reddit miner got.
I'm not saying my background makes me a better therapist on paper. I'm saying it means when you walk in and describe what it's like to come home after a 21-day rotation and feel like a stranger in your own house — I'm not nodding politely.
I've stood in that doorway.
When you describe the weight of carrying a crew's safety on your back while your own head is falling apart — I know what that weighs. Not because I read about it. Because I've carried it.
The therapeutic alliance — the clinical term for the relationship between counsellor and client — is the single strongest predictor of whether therapy works. Not the modality. Not the credentials. Not the office. Whether the person across from you actually understands your world.
What This Actually Looks Like
No couch. No incense. No "tell me about your mother" unless your mother is actually relevant.
I work with structured, evidence-based methods — EMDR for trauma, DBT for emotional regulation — delivered in a way that respects who you are and where you come from.
Sessions are available evenings and weekends. Virtual across BC. Because you can't take a mental health day when you're on a 14/7 rotation in a camp 400 kilometers from your therapist's office.
FNHA, ICBC, CVAP, and most extended health plans accepted. Most of my clients don't pay out of pocket.
Free 15-Minute Consultation
No intake forms. No obligations. Just a conversation to see if this is the right fit. If it's not, I'll tell you — and I'll point you toward someone who is.
Book a Free ConsultQuestions I Get Asked
How do I know if my therapist is the right fit?
You should feel understood — not just heard, but actually recognized. If your counsellor doesn't understand your work life, the shifts, the isolation, the crew culture, it's not a personality flaw. It's a fit issue. The right therapist doesn't need you to explain what your world is like before you can explain what's wrong.
Why do men drop out of therapy?
Research shows that over half of men who leave therapy early do so because they didn't feel a connection with the therapist. It's not that therapy doesn't work. It's that the wrong therapist doesn't work. Fit matters more than credentials.
Is there counselling for miners and oil and gas workers in BC?
Yes. Some counsellors in BC have direct experience in mining, oil and gas, and trades — not just textbook knowledge. Online counselling makes this accessible regardless of remote work location, FIFO schedule, or shift rotation.
